I encourage each and every one of you to go read this article that Marianne from XOJane wrote about fat sex, which is really a list of tips on how folks of ALL shapes and sizes can have hotter more enjoyable sex lives. Its really the greatest thing I’ve read all day. Her tone and attitude towards sex and bodies is spot on, and I can totally get behind all of her parentheticals and caveats because I don’t trust anyone who writes about sex without those. Here is a large-ish excerpt because I couldn’t pick just a small-ish one out…
They don’t deserve to fuck you. Period. Unless you have a humiliation kink and have requested such negative commentary, anyone who says something mean about your body and then expects to have naked access to it should be denied. Yes, this means that sometimes you will turn down people you’d like to fuck. But do not reward anyone who thinks it is acceptable to insult the person they want to have sex with.
Note: I think this actually includes people you are married to. Because bodies change but if they can’t handle that? You might need a new partner.
Rule 2: Practice being naked.
If you cannot be naked with yourself, it is probably going to be really hard to be naked with other people. It is totally okay to need to dip your toe into nakedness a little bit, but being comfortable enough to take off the T-shirt is going to improve your sex life. And not just because the T-shirt will be out of the way but because it’s easier to have a good time when you feel comfortable.
Hang out in your living room naked (if you are able). Try sleeping naked! Get comfortable with the way your body moves and shifts.
Thank you Marianne for being awesome! For more on this topic, I totally recommend reading Hanne Blank’s Big Big Love. Also, here is a bunch of amazing full figured women having a lot of sexy fun on DVD, and it won 2013 Feminist Porn Awards award for Hottest Dyke Film!